When “You’re Fat” is the Go-To Insult

I am willing to bet that most people have called someone fat as an insult.  It’s easy.

You are in traffic and someone cuts you off: “Stupid, fat fuck!” Side note: what does fat fuck mean any way?

Someone at work is always giving you problems: “Dumb, fat bitch!”

Your feelings get hurt so you yell: “Shut up, fatso!”

I once broke up with a guy named Ross.  He was so angry that I broke up with him he showed up at a bar my gal pals and I frequented (Gin Mill— anyone remember that place?).  He found me in the back and started screaming at me that I was so fucking fat that I was lucky he even dated me.  So original, Ross.  So original.

Dear Ross- you could have easily gone with something that didn’t involve my size. I cheated on you and then broke up with you—go with slut or Jezebel, not fat.   Instead you went with something you knew that would cut deep for me.  Sometimes I wish I could do this over and come back at you with my own insult about you (there is a lot to unpack in that bag!), but we don’t get do overs.

On a funny, sort of note: that was the last time I saw Ross.  UNTIL— I was with Duane, 6 months pregnant at a Chili’s (what is better than a bloomin’ onion, am I right?!) and BOOM there is Ross. With a girl—he moved on! Maybe at that time he had finally lost his virginity (I couldn’t resist getting that in— I dated a virgin for a year!). We both gave awkward nods and moved on.  I did though relive that confrontation in my head that moment and then regretted looking big when I saw him.  I was pregnant— I could look however I wanted, but you see how deep this body image shit runs.

Back to the FAT word as an insult.  Here is my advice:  DO BETTER.  If you have to insult someone don’t use FAT or how about don’t use the person’s appearance as the insult.  Stick with what made you angry in the moment.  Suggestions:

You are a shitty driver.

You drive like an asshole.

I can’t take the stupid.

Eat a bag of dicks (my very favorite one).

You dumbass.

In the comments share your favorite insult that is not appearance focused.  Come on, you know you want to!

27 Replies to “When “You’re Fat” is the Go-To Insult”

  1. I have an old friend. I saw him recently. He said “damn you got fat!” Well. I responded. Ya but you got ugly. I can fix my fat, but you can’t fix your ugliness. Drop the mike. lol. PS. It still hurt. So I can relate. Just saying. ❤️

  2. I was watching an old 30 Rock episode last night that always makes me die a little inside ( so why didn’t I skip it? Excellent question!). It’s from when Jane Krakowsky had just had a baby in real
    life so they wrote her “fatness” into the show for a few episodes. It’s truly horrifying and embarrassing to watch. Somehow making fun of fat people is the last acceptable frontier.

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